Oh. My. God.
Watch the mammoth home run here:
In the second inning of a game at o.Co Coliseum against the Oakland A’s, Trumbo took a 3-1 pitch way, way out to left field, clearing the bleachers on a line drive that would have made Giancarlo Stanton quiver.
Yours truly attends 10-12 A’s games a year, and I can tell you I’ve never seen a ball hit that far in a game, batting practice, or otherwise. This is a team that had Mark McGwire and Jose Canseco in the glory days, Jason Giambi in the early 2000’s, and now boast Yoenis Cespedes.
Yet none of them have ever gone where Mark Trumbo just went. You might have to visit the coliseum to realize how far that ball really went, but for now, just take my word for it. I can’t wait to get an official distance on that Trumbomb! UPDATE: ESPN reports the ball traveled 475 feet, tied with Anthony Rizzo for the longest homer in MLB this season. I’m not convinced. Looked like 500+ to me.
Let’s watch it again: http://mlb.mlb.com/video/play.jsp?content_id=26704051
– Jeremy Dorn (@Jamblinman)
According to the official Oakland A’s twitter account (@Athletics), the team will be giving away “Grant Balfour Ragin’ Gnomes” on Father’s Day to the first 10,000 fans. So if you live in the Bay Area like me, go ahead and stop by o.Co Coliseum on June 16th to pick up one of these gnomes (pictured below)–and tweet me while you’re at it (@Jamblinman) so we can meet up and talk baseball for a minute!
— Oakland Athletics (@Athletics) April 9, 2013
Hang on, though. Let’s get real here. The A’s have some pretty awesome giveaways, and this one will certainly be popular with the right-field bleacher crew. But would you really say this gnome is “raging?” I mean, Grant Balfour RAGES, and he looks nothing like a svelte, human version of this…this creature.
To me, it looks more like the gnome is dropping a deuce or earning a post-game “Oh face.” Does that mean I won’t be attending the game with my Dad and downing beers and seeds, watching the Mariners square off with the green and gold? Of course not. I’m just saying if I’m fan number 10,001, I won’t be too heartbroken.
Hope to see you all there!
– Jeremy Dorn (@Jamblinman)
It’s that time of year again. That time when you realize your resolution to lose 30 pounds failed – in fact, we gained 30, didn’t we? When your declaration that your vampire novel would finally be finished and sent to the publisher, never got off the shelf.
Or that your dream of visiting Tahiti ended up being a shady motel for a weekend in Oakland on business.
Now that we’ve set a bleak mood, here’s the point: It’s New Years resolution time. We will all be making them, whether it’s private or public. And likewise, our favorite MLB teams must have one resolution they are aiming to accomplish in 2013.
Since we survived the apocalypse for now, here are Three Up, Three Down’s resolutions for every MLB team:
Texas Rangers – Make a new friend – The Rangers either shopped in the wrong place or got screwed over for every player on their Christmas wish list. It’s not too late to snag Justin Upton from the D’Backs, though it gets less likely with each passing day. Texas should be going after the powerful right fielder hard in January.
Los Angeles Angels – Make a little money – Hear me out. Everyone knows that Arte Moreno and his Angels are filthy rich, but do they really have enough left over to re-work the decimated starting rotation? Trading for Jason Vargas was a nice touch, but will Vargas, Joe Blanton and Tommy Hanson really replace Zack Greinke, Dan Haren and Ervin Santana?
Oakland A’s – Move to a better ‘hood – Lew Wolff is fooling nobody. Because everyone and their mother knows that o.Co Coliseum is not a viable venue for a professional baseball team. Wolff claims he wants at least another half-decade in Oakland, but I’m calling his bluff. Their resolution should be to get OUT, and fast.
Seattle Mariners – Bulk up – No, not on the Bartolo Colon diet. The M’s took a good first step toward that workout regimen by trading for Kendrys Morales. But just because that punch-less offense now benches the bar doesn’t mean opponents will quiver with fear. The M’s need to go out and get some more power to legitimize those playoff hopes.
Houston Astros – Graduate – It’s no secret that the ‘Stros are a big work in progress. Moving to what was last year’s best division in baseball isn’t going to help things. While the other four teams in the division are – at the very least – grown men, Houston is struggling to graduate from a student to a serious businessman. Can they take that step in 2013?
Detroit Tigers – Learn to close – Take this as you may. There are thousands of frat boys in America resolving to improve in the same fashion next year. But I meant it as a nod to the Tigers getting handled in a sweep in the World Series in 2012. Adding Torii Hunter and bringing back Anibal Sanchez were big steps, but 2013 will be a failure without redemption.
Kansas City Royals – Become a “cool kid” – Oh, don’t pretend like you weren’t aspiring to be one your whole academic life. The Royals got some nice clothes and a haircut over the winter vacation, and are looking to butt their way into the “in” crowd. In baseball speak, that means they are aiming to be the new playoff darlings after adding much-needed pitching.
Cleveland Indians – Get along with Dad – The relationship wasn’t that bad before, but the Indians sure would like to impress new skipper Terry Francona in 2013. Cleveland is loaded with untapped potential, and they are hoping to play well for a full season to show their manager and fans that they are serious about this job.
Chicago White Sox – Prove everyone wrong – Wait, didn’t they do that last year? Sure, but people like me are still unconvinced. Their numbers were unexpectedly good, but that just makes the boss curious. Can they repeat? Do they actually deserve the promotion? The Chisox sure would like to move on up, but they will have a tough road.
Minnesota Twins – Get back on their feet – Plenty of people have to resolve to do this every year. Whether it be an economic downturn, family problem, or injury, some years are just destined to be awful. The Twins know they won’t contend in 2013, but they can start the grueling process of getting back to a stable place.
New York Yankees – Forgiveness – They better learn how, because former public enemy number one, Kevin Youkilis, will be manning third base for the Yanks in 2013. What this really means, is that if Youk bounces back and has a good year, the Yanks will forget all about their problems, and likely return to the postseason.
Boston Red Sox – Get cleaned up – This kind of resolution is usually reserved for a junkie of some kind, but it’ll fit nicely with the BoSox here. Boston got so far off track last season that they traded away millions of dollars in bad contracts for below-average prospects. Once they finish cutting out the rot, the Sox might contend again, even in this division.
Toronto Blue Jays – Build an empire – Such a wish is much more foreboding when applied to business in the real world, but opponents of the Jays should really be terrified of the changes this team has made. Their one and only goal with so many major acquisitions must be to not only make the playoffs, but to dominate everyone on the way.
Tampa Bay Rays – Try something crazy – I want to go skydiving, or hike a volcano, or start a band. The Rays, however, should do a whole different kind of crazy. Start Wil Myers in the big leagues, and see if it takes off. The kid is ready, and the lineup needs a boost. Anything remotely good from Myers may mean a playoff berth for Tampa.
Baltimore Orioles – Update the security system – In this day and age, you can’t be too careful with home security. I’m not talking a drawbridge and moat, but we’ve learned that the best teams are thriving because of good pitching staffs, to protect any other weaknesses they may have. Baltimore NEEDS a couple starting pitchers.
Los Angeles Dodgers – Give to charity – I swear, this isn’t even a “rich ownership” joke. Okay, it kind of is. But with all the money this team has shelled out over the past ten or so months, why isn’t their most deserving commodity seeing any of it? They keep talking about an extension for Clayton Kershaw, but show the fans you mean business!
San Francisco Giants – Share with friends – Not the World Series title itself, although this Dodgers fan would appreciate them passing that honor along next season. I’m talking about the Giants sharing with their San Francisco cohort, the 49ers. As the new year starts, the 49ers will be in contention for a title of their own, and any advice would be great.
Arizona Diamondbacks – Cut ties with a family member – Sometimes it’s just necessary. You hate to see anyone secede from the clan, but signing free agent outfielder Cody Ross makes it inevitable. Will it be Upton? Adam Eaton, Jason Kubel or Gerardo Parra? One will need to go, and it’s only a matter of time before they get dumped.
Colorado Rockies – Get health insurance – I know, I know. It’s not affordable in this country anymore. That’s one thing I won’t argue! But you have to think, given the regularity of major injuries to Colorado’s best players (Michael Cuddyer, Troy Tulowitzki, etc.) they would find any way to keep everyone off the DL.
San Diego Padres – Earn a promotion – Any opponents who take the Padres lightly in 2013 are foolish. With Chase Headley, Alexi Amarista and Yonder Alonso backing an underrated pitching staff, San Diego could be the A’s of 2013. They will have to fight and scrap their way to get there, though.
Cincinnati Reds – Follow through – This is a tough one for any given person to accomplish. We make all sorts of promises to ourselves that oftentimes go unfinished. The Reds have made a silent pact to be even better than they were last year, and finally achieve what they’ve been on the brink of for years now. They might be the team to beat in the NL next year.
St. Louis Cardinals – Rekindle the flame – In a non-romantic way, of course. One of the reasons the Cardinals were able to shock fans everywhere and make that insane title run in 2011 was the clutch gene. They weren’t missing it last year, but everything was just too inconsistent in St. Louis. If they rediscover their balance and passion, watch out everyone else.
Milwaukee Brewers – Be a good parent – Confused? Good. The Brewers almost clawed their way all the way back into a Wild Card slot in 2012 after a dismal, bullpen-failure-laden start to the year. With a loaded lineup and above average pitching staff, this should not happen again. So their resolution is to help tutor young shortstop Jean Segura into a star.
Pittsburgh Pirates – Improve their grades – The Pirates were so close to being eligible last year. Not for the playoffs, or any nonsense like that. But to finally getting over the hump. Pittsburgh needs a 2.0 to be eligible – in this case, they need 81 wins – to be taken seriously. Will they reach the .500 mark? A slight improvement in 2013 will do it!
Chicago Cubs – Change their image – There really is no changing an entire image built around loss and devastation, as Cubs fans have known all too well for over a century. But even a slight uptick in wins and a breakout season from one of their young stars (Brett Jackson, maybe?) will at least give people hope that they can change.
Washington Nationals – Make up – Adam LaRoche needs to be back in D.C. for 2013. All he wants is one extra year on a contract he has more than earned. Without a doubt, he was the most consistent hitter on the best team in the league in 2012, and should get paid as such. My New Years advice to the Nats is to make up with him. Sign the guy for three years.
Atlanta Braves – Learn acceptance – I remember being taught in psychology that the standard grieving process goes Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. Braves fans and any good fan anywhere are surely coming out of the Depression stage right now (I know I am) and trying to transition into Acceptance at the fact that Chipper Jones has retired.
Philadelphia Phillies – Become more patient – This is easier said than done for anyone, but it’s especially pertinent in Philadelphia. From an outsider’s perspective, I thought Philadelphia was caving into a sinkhole given the fans general reaction to last season’s debacle. Patience, Phillie fanatics. Your team is still very, very good. They are close, too.
New York Mets – Have more fun – I presume life as a Mets fan hasn’t been very enjoyable for the past three seasons – well, at least after the All-Star break. But they re-signed poster boy David Wright and gained some really solid prospects in the R.A. Dickey trade. Everything is headed in the right direction, Mets fans. Just calm down and have a little fun with it.
Miami Marlins – Make amends with people – Strange, you say? Au contraire! The smaller fan base that follows the Marlins are no doubt let down by the shocking fire sale that took place this winter. No more executive-speak, front office. Give it to the fans, and your best remaining player Giancarlo Stanton, straight. What is the plan? Honesty will take you far.
– Jeremy Dorn (@Jamblinman)
If you’re like me, when someone says “ballpark food” you think of three things: hot dogs, nachos and beer. Those three are a staple of every baseball stadium in America, regardless of the hometown twists they might put on each item.
Well, the A’s don’t really attract a ton of fans, but the ones that do go can snag a pretty scrumptious snack. And that’s exactly what I did this past Sunday. Before watching the A’s offense make Hiroki Kuroda look like Hideo Nomo, I scarfed down on this pile of meaty goodness:
Those are normal nachos, but stuffed into a collectible plastic A’s helmet. They were in there so tight, I thought the plastic would bust. On top is some amazing Kalua pork and a little guacamole for color. You also have the option of putting jalapenos and/or pico de gallo on top, creating an even more colorful, delicious treat.
I went with the standard stuff, and I’ll tell you…I definitely got my $9’s worth. There were so many things right with the nachos, I don’t even know where to start.
The chips themselves were normal ballpark chips, but like I said, this helmet was packed FULL of them. The normal helping of nachos for just $3 less is about one-third as many (not to mention how badly they skimp on the cheese…there’s never any left for me to finger-pick out of there!).
And I guess whoever is running the pork nachos stand knows you’re paying almost double digits, because they just heaped on the cheese. Not to the point of soaking the chips into a soggy mess, but enough so that every single delectable chip was smothered with creamy deliciousness.
The guac added a little flavor just for kicks, but what really did it was the Kalua pork. Last time I got meat like that on a game day meal, there was a ton of fat, too much salt and absolutely no presentation (ironically enough, that was from an upscale restaurant also inside o.Co Coliseum).
This Kalua pork was tender, delicious and plentiful. You can see from the picture that most of the middle of that helmet is stuffed with pork. Honestly, the only other time I’ve been this full after a ballpark meal was when I got “all you can eat seats” – once at Safeco Field, once at Dodger Stadium.
But never, ever have I been so full and satisfied from one single plate of anything at a baseball game. I loved it. It was amazing. Go buy a $2 ticket for an A’s game (trust me, you’ll find a seat) and make sure to stop by the Kalua pork nachos stand down the left field line, almost to the bleachers.
Besides, even if you end up hating them for some reason…you have a brand new batting helmet for your infant!
Thanks for reading! For more Chowin’ Down, look through the Three Up, Three Down archives.
– Jeremy (@Jamblinman)
My first official MLB game of 2012 came with quite a few surprises. Despite the rain-delayed first pitch and the game being called due to that very same storm 7 and a half innings later, it was a fun time. The A’s lost 3-0, but the action on the field was nothing compared to the gloriousness that took place in the right field bleachers.
Here’s the back story for all you unfortunate fools who have yet to experience a Bacon Tuesday at o.Co Coliseum in Oakland:
As I understand it, the right field bleacher crew, (some of the most die hard fans in baseball, I assure you of that) started a tradition last year of bringing bacon treats to Tuesday home games. When the Royals strolled into town, their right fielder was intrigued by the tradition.
Because A’s fans are the coolest kids around, they developed a unique bond with Mr. Francoeur (aforementioned right fielder), and donated some bacon to his mouth. He responded by tossing them a baseball with a $100 bill wrapped around it.
Needless to say, the right field bleacher crew at A’s games is now in love with Francoeur, and it seems as if the compassion is shared equally. I was at the game on Tuesday, and every time Francoeur came out to the field, the fans chanted his name and he turned around and smiled or waved.
He seemed to be having a legitimately great time with those fans, a rare spectacle for a visiting player. By the way, Frenchie (as he’s affectionately known) scored major points with me. I thought he was just a “blah” player with below average stats, but he’s clearly the greatest player in the game today. I mean…he loves bacon!
Anyway, when they came back to the Coliseum this week, the right field bleacher crew had shirts ready, reading “2nd Annual bacon Tuesday,” and below that, “Sponsored by Jeff Francoeur.” Yes, he got a shirt. Duhh.
My friend Taylor and I went up to the bleachers around the fourth inning to meet the guys and gals up there and laugh about the tradition and talk a little baseball. Little did I know that adventure would lead me to the most delicious oral extravaganza of my life. Whoa. Re-word that. Uhh…
I chowed down on chocolate-covered bacon. Incredible, of course. Chocolate. And bacon. A match made in heaven. Then I was handed a bacon-wrapped jalapeno stuffed with peanut butter. It was a little strange, naturally. But entirely enjoyable.
The most memorable treat came in the form of a pretzel stick. Ready? Wrapped in…candied bacon. No, there’s more…DIPPED IN NUTELLA. My mouth just started watering like Niagara Falls remembering that finger-lickin’ morsel.
A’s fans, and baseball fans everywhere – let’s be real. The A’s could use a little revenue. So go to o.Co, especially on Tuesdays. You might get to share in the epicness of the bacon treats. Which may very well be the greatest things ever created. Hashtag: NOM.
– Jeremy Dorn (@Jamblinman)